Not Untitled.
Could you tell us about your experience with sleepwalking?

I have sleepwalked a multitude of times so I’ll share the funniest (well the story of the funniest as it was told to me).

When I was a freshman in high school I went on a family vacation to Hawaii. I fell asleep rather early the first evening (Michigan is several time zones from Hawaii) and around 9pm when everyone else was still awake, I arose (at least my body did, my brain didn’t join it) from my slumber on the pull out couch, took off my shirt (I had a bathing suit underneath luckily) and walked towards the door to leave the hotel room. At this point my sister apparently intervened and said, “the bathroom is this way”, and pointed me towards it, to which I responded, “I don’t have to take a shit, I’m tired.” Then I turned around and walked back to the sofa bed and went back to physical sleep.

kristendotcom:

The only tattoo I’d ever get.

kristendotcom:

The only tattoo I’d ever get.

I was tagged by allefory and this looks really fun.

A. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
B. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks — Copy and repost, delete my answers, then type in your answers.


Been arrested? Yes
Kissed someone you didn’t like? Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? Yes
Ran a red light? Yes
Been suspended from school? No
Experienced love at first sight? No
Totaled your car in an accident? No
Been fired from a job? No
Fired somebody? Yes
Sang karaoke? Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? No
Had a close brush with death? Yes
Seen someone die? Yes
Played spin-the-bottle? No
Smoked a cigar? Yes
Sat on a rooftop? Yes
Smuggled something into another country? No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? Yes
Broken a bone? No
Skipped school? Yes
Eaten a bug? Yes
Sleepwalked? Yes
Walked a moonlit beach? Yes
Rode [on] a motorcycle? Yes
Dumped someone? Yes
Lied to avoid a ticket? No
Ridden in a helicopter? No
Shaved your head? No
Made your boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Yes.
Eaten snake? No
Marched/Protested? Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No
Puked on amusement ride? No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? Yes
Been in a band? No
Been on TV? Yes
Shot a gun? Yes
Skinny-dipped? Yes
Gave someone stitches? No
Ridden a surfboard? Yes
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? Yes
Had surgery? No
Streaked? No
Taken by ambulance to hospital? No
Fainted? Yes
Peed behind a bush? Yes
Donated Blood? Yes
Grabbed an electric fence? Yes
Eaten alligator meat? Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? No
Peed your pants in public? Yes
Snuck into a movie without paying? Yes
Written graffiti? Yes
Still love someone you shouldn’t? No
Been in handcuffs? Yes
Believe in love? Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes

It is to the real advantage of every producer, every manufacturer and every merchant to cooperate in the improvement of working conditions, because the best customer of American industry is the well-paid worker.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
thatfunnyblog:

All other typos can go home. This one wins.

DISCOCUNT!

thatfunnyblog:

All other typos can go home. This one wins.

DISCOCUNT!

Los Angeles needs to get its shit together and stop having the hottest month be September because it makes no sense to a Michigander like me.

I went running today at 11am and it was over 90 degrees. 2.5 miles in my body was all, “fuck this heat” and my mind was all, “I’m 2.5 miles away from work”. I had to run the last 1.5 miles with no water because it was gone and there was no shade because it was like 11 something.

All of my exercising while having crazy long hair that I throw in a ponytail is ruining my hair. I have too much hair weight for ponytails so the hair that the scrunchie or ponytail holder touches is all damaged and breaking and I don’t know what the fuck to do. :(

UPDATE

michaelsaikin:

Darren Wilson and George Zimmerman walk freely among us.

Objects in bra are smaller than they appear. 

Until the age of 18 when I started taking birth control, puberty just meant growing 5” in one summer and still having size 32aa bras. That caused me to become really good at push up bras. Once I went on birth control they grew to a c cup, but I’m definitely wearing a push up bra.

Objects in bra are smaller than they appear.

Until the age of 18 when I started taking birth control, puberty just meant growing 5” in one summer and still having size 32aa bras. That caused me to become really good at push up bras. Once I went on birth control they grew to a c cup, but I’m definitely wearing a push up bra.

hannahstasia:


emily fucking gilmore

hannahstasia:

emily fucking gilmore